I grew up with Fred Crump Jr. fairy tales; get his books here. Thankful for parents that knew Representation Matters.
My mother used to read these to me every night
will never not reblog.
I’m not a misandrist, but a few quick questions:
If men can’t even make their own sandwiches, why are they allowed to make bills in congress?
If men can’t control their own sexual urges, why are they allowed to control nations?
If a woman’s legs/shoulders are enough to distract a man, how can we trust them to stay focused on things like open heart surgery or judging a murder trial?
Again not a misandrist, some of my best friends are guys and i’m even dating one.
If pornography is increasingly cruel and degrading, why is it increasingly commonplace instead of more marginalized? In a society that purports to be civilized, wouldn’t we expect most people to reject sexual material that becomes ever more dismissive of the humanity of women? How do we explain the simultaneous appearance of more, and increasingly more intense, ways to humiliate women sexually and the rising popularity of the films that present those activities?
As is often the case, this paradox can be resolved by recognizing that one of the assumptions is wrong. Here, it’s the assumption that US society routinely rejects cruelty and degradation. In fact, the United States is a nation that has no serious objection to cruelty and degradation. Think of the way we accept the use of brutal weapons in war that kill civilians, or the way we accept the death penalty, or the way we accept crushing economic inequality. There is no paradox in the steady mainstreaming of an intensely cruel pornography. This is a culture with a well-developed legal regime that generally protects individuals’ rights and freedoms, and yet it also is a strikingly cruel culture in the way it accepts brutality and inequality. The pornographers are not a deviation from the norm. Their presence in the mainstream shouldn’t be surprising, because they represent mainstream values: the logic of domination and subordination that is central to patriarchy, hyper-patriotic nationalism, white supremacy, and a predatory corporate capitalism.
Wow. #rapeculture #pornographyasasymbol
If we are acquaintances, you may get the vibe that I think too much. If we are friends, you know that I get a thrill from giving energy and focus to examining things that are “normal” and questioning how they influence us, hopefully giggling and releasing a “so it goes” sigh along the way. If we are lucky enough to be good friends, you know I use phrases like “getting a sociology boner” to describe how excited films like “District 9” make me, and that I believe increasingly deeply in intentional action and expression. I am detail-oriented, non-traditional and enjoy the art of symbolism, and on top of that I fell in love with and married a man who is my beautiful inverse in personality but identical twin in values. So, why wouldn’t I write up a post about the meaning behind our interpretation of the whole “gettin’ married” song and dance? :)
To keep things short - as short as explanations for defying tradition can go - I’m writing this in semi-list format.
-We got married outside. God is present in the love of our community, our love for each other, the wonder of the earth, and - especially, in my SoCal-lovin’ opinion - the warmth of the summer air. A clearing next to a river is no less meaningful to us than the inside of a church building.
-Processionally speaking, I don’t know if the minister/officiant is always up there first, but we wanted Val there before anyone else because her participation represented the presence of God coming before anything else.
-We had a huge wedding party, 16 deep to be exact. And my side included my best friend Ankit and Greg’s side included his sister Lydia. To us, gender identity, anatomical differences or simple visual congruity are not reasons enough to banish someone close to us to the other side of the aisle. Ankit has been my friend for over 8 years; why wouldn’t I want him standing at my side during an event as important as this? I mean I was lucky enough to have a Matron of Honor, a Maid of Honor and a Best Bro. (This is the kind of friend who sent a txt the first day of our honeymoon saying “bow chicka wow wow.” Come on)
-Since our ceremony was outside, we got to choose our seating set up. We opted to have three aisles. The wedding party went up the side aisles as individuals rather than walking with someone from the other side. There’s nothing wrong with having everybody coupled up, but we wanted to express these people’s involvement and importance to us in their own particular capacities, and this seemed the best way to do that.
-Similarly, Greg and I walked up the aisle at the same time. Specifically, we walked up the side aisles at the same time and after our vows walked down the center one together, just as we went to the marriage altar as separate people and left it unified.
-My dress wasn’t actually white and Greg’s outfit didn’t match the guys’ in the wedding party. My purity, as traditionally represented by the white gown, is no more important than Greg’s - we dressed different than our wedding party because it was a different experience for us than for them, and neither of us needed to stand out more than the other.
-My dad didn’t “give me away.” When asked about this, I’ve smiled and told people that unless Greg gave my dad two goats in exchange, I would be giving myself to my future husband. ;)
-We each had 3 vows that we wrote ourselves. We made 3 promises we knew we could keep and made them broad enough to hold us to a vision for how we wanted to live and be together. It’s been 8 days so far and I’m starting to wish I’d made Greg include, “I promise not to fart anywhere even slightly near your face,” but c’est la vie.
-Our verse was Galatians 3:28 GOD’S WORD translation.
There are neither Jews nor Greeks (funny because he’s Greek and I’m Jewish), slaves nor free people (except in capitalist America where you’re called “wage laborers” instead), males nor females (binary gender identity denies a wide spectrum of perspectives). You are all the same in Christ Jesus. (A loud, grateful Amen!)
-Our first dance was to "Let’s Do It (Let’s Fall in Love)" by Ella Fitzgerald. We chose this song because, first and foremost, we got a kick out of the slightly provocative wording, and because we love music of that style and era, and also because falling in love doesn’t happen once and then you’re set. Marriage is a commitment to keep falling in love the rest of your lives. So are we already in love? Duh. But we also want to continue choosing one another and falling in love for a long, long, long time to come. We promised to never give up, not completely. And that’s what this sexy little song is about.
(Also. Love is sexy. And sexy is “when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you.” [Read Rob Bell’s “Sex God” for more of this brilliance] Greg and I make each other feel sexy, inside and outside)
And now… we just have to live up to all this symbolism ;)
Cheers and thanks for the read :)